It’s been five years since I wrote the first blog post on Playing a New Game; it was three years after my life had turned upside down and sideways. Having never been a stay-on-the-ground kind of person when I’ve fallen flat on my face, I decided that I was playing a new game in life and somehow, the thought that putting my crazy stream of consciousness out into the blogisphere would be a good thing. Maybe not for you, but I was hoping it would be a really good thing for me. Truthfully, I didn’t really even think about you. I was in survival mode, looking for a way back to “thrival” mode, and getting the insane, weird, screwed-up words out of my head seemed like a good idea.
Here’s that first post: CLICK HERE to read On the Road Again!
Not much, is it? Kinda short. No pictures. Even had a typo or two (that I fixed right this minute!). But perhaps it’s more a look into what was going on in my head after three years of being house-less, with no stable income, and now no longer certified in my chosen field of expertise (which meant I could not be hired by anyone and I could not participate in disaster mitigation as the representative of a jurisdiction). I was fifty-eight years old and looking at being obsolete – in my career, my family, my life. My mother had divorced me, my siblings wanted nothing to do with me, my son had his own life which mostly didn’t include me.
I felt like I was free-floating. I knew I was gonna be playing a new game. Truly, playing a new game.
These days, my posts usually include photos, sometimes a recipe or two, maybe a travelogue report on where I am, and most often, a rambling stream of words that fall out of my head, into my fingers, onto the blog page. I still write for me, but I hear from people all the time who like what I write, so maybe there’s some common place in all of us that thinks we can play this game called “life” and actually thrive and succeed at it, no matter what our physical age is or what we thought our daily lives were going to be like when we got to wherever we are right now.
My life today is nothing at all like what I had envisioned it would be when I was younger and would think about what being an almost 63-year-old “senior citizen” would look like. Granted, I probably didn’t think a whole lot about it but when I did, it didn’t look like this. Throughout my adult years, the one big constant for me was always my son, Mark – ever since I was 17 and pregnant, I’ve continuously thought my days, especially my “old days,” would include my son, in some way or other. I’ve even been known to tell him (and more than once) that I would never be able to afford long-term care in a senior residential home, so wherever he lived, he needed to make sure there was room enough in the back yard to build a little tiny apartment for me to live in. Maybe he thought I was joking, but in all seriousness, I was serious. Now, with his life as it is, that’s not an option he’s willing to consider. Or maybe he has considered it and has decided it’s not an option. Whatever. Doesn’t really matter. It’s clear to me that it’s not something that’s going to be a part of my “old age” plan anymore. Once again, I’m re-thinking what this life-game is all about. Heck. I have no idea. At my age, I have no idea. None.
So, dear readers, what that means is I’m still playing a new game, each and every day, and you’re still along for the ride. I appreciate all of you, I love you, and I cherish each and every one of you… always and every day (and yes, this definitely includes my son, who is also a subscriber to this blog).
Happy Blogiversary to us!
That would be me, you, and the little mouse in my pocket. We rock!