What is sauce for the goose may be sauce for the gander but is not necessarily sauce for the chicken, the duck, the turkey or the guinea hen. — Alice B. Toklas
We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing. — George Carlin
I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey, ‘man, just be yourself.’ — Mitch Hedberg
I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the ‘history’ I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America’s traditions tend to be over-eating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it’s a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all. — Ellen Orleans
What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? — Erma Bombeck, No One Diets on Thanksgiving
You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise, old Native American woman saying, “Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave.” — Dylan Brody
Thanks to you, my family and friends, for being a part of my life and allowing me to be a part of yours. Thanks to the universe for your sense of humor; our lives would sure be dull without it. And of course, thanks to the internet for today’s little Thanksgiving tidbits.