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happy birthday mom

My mother declared her independence from Planet Earth on Monday, July 4th, 2016. While our relationship was always a challenge, for both of us, I learned many things from her over the years beginning with our initial earthly acquaintance… and not the least of which was a love of flan, that yummy Mexican custard dessert.

Rest in peace, Mom, and give Dad a hug from me ♡ ♡ ♡

A Different Kind of Independence Day
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14 thoughts on “A Different Kind of Independence Day

  • July 6, 2016 at 9:58 am

    Oh I just don’t know what to say. I am sorry she died with so many issues unresolved for you. May I return the heart felt hugs and support you have given me over the last year my friend. Hugs hugs and more hugs.

    • August 5, 2016 at 9:25 am

      Thank you for being my friend, Linda. So many times we have leaned on each other and that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? Hugs back atcha ♡ ♡ ♡

  • July 6, 2016 at 10:14 am

    So sorry, Lois. Perhaps one day you will think about writing her a letter to tell her the whole story from your point of view, shaped out of your gratitude for the “things you learned from her over the years” as you’ve written here. Perhaps then you will gain a sense of her finally celebrating her daughter’s journey on this earth. Some folks are unable to get out of the ruts they have made for themselves. You have accomplished what may have been very difficult for your family to do. Your example is a mirror for others. Go slow and be kind to yourself in all ways.

    • July 6, 2016 at 1:16 pm

      Over the years, I’ve written many letters to my mom, including some poetry. It’s always been cathartic and I’m sure I’ll be writing more letters as I continue my own earthly journey. Writing helps clear the foggy air in my head, as I’m sure it does for others. I’ve also found it helpful to sit with other people and share memories or stories, and letting the crappy stuff just fly away into the wind. I’m sure I’ll be doing some of that “sit on the side of a hill, keep the good, let go of the bad” stuff in the real near future 😀

      Thank you, Marilyn, as always for your thoughts. I appreciate you very much!

  • July 6, 2016 at 10:18 am

    Well said my friend! I’m sure your dad is smiling down on you and waiting for or already has gotten those hugs!!I’m sure your mom is now at peace with whatever she had to find peace for. Hugs

    • July 6, 2016 at 1:17 pm

      Thanks, Cyndi. I know she has lots of company in the spirit realm with her these days – kind of one of those things that happens to all of us, isn’t it? Hugs back atcha!

  • July 6, 2016 at 10:19 am

    Oh Lois, someday all questions will be answered. I’m sorry! I send big hugs and lots of love your way. I believe strongly that your recent flowers for her made her smile. If you need to talk, I’m just a phone call away…
    Love you my friend.

    • July 6, 2016 at 1:19 pm

      Thank you, Debbie. I find it kind of funny that the last flowers I sent her were in a “keepsake” vase. I love how the universe laughs with us! ♡

  • July 6, 2016 at 10:53 am

    While death is as much a part of the living experience as is birth, the finality of it and the impact on status quo is still inevitable. My condolences for your loss, Lois. I understand what you mean regarding unresolved issues. My father died when I was 21 at his own hand (he was just shy of 43). That left huge issues within the family and between me and my mother. She died just shy of 20 years later and we had little to no relationship during that period. The issues remained unresolved. Marilyn suggested writing a letter to her and telling her your story. What a great idea. As we know, life is not a dress rehearsal and there are no do-overs. You (and I) have to continue moving forward in our lives. I’ve managed to accept and resolve, in my own mind and heart, the unresolved issues over the past 30 years since my mother departed this planet. It’s taken some real soul searching and forgiving (I hope, if they can, they have forgiven me). Maybe that letter might be part of the answer for your resolve. Keep on keepin’ on.

    Live free & be happy,

    • July 6, 2016 at 1:27 pm

      You and I share a lot of similarities in our journeys here on Planet Earth, Ed. I’ve always thought it’s nice to know when we aren’t alone in something, whatever it is, because I appreciate the common ground we share with others. Thank you for sharing your own story with me – as you said, life goes on, whether or not the issues are resolved. I think our own lives are colored by what we do in the case of “things that don’t go our way” and having a parent die with the words not being said is one of those instances where we can choose to take the “good” stuff and leave the “bad” stuff or we can choose to dive deep into the crap. As I replied to Marilyn, I’ve written many letters over the years to my mom and I’m sure I have a few more left in me before I schedule my own independence. It’s all about the process or the journey, isn’t it? It isn’t over till it’s over! Onward and upward!

  • July 7, 2016 at 7:57 am

    When you can’t communicate with a loved one in the physical, writing those heart-felt letters is the best way to express your feelings, emotions, whatever. After, you can decide whether to mail them, keep them, or burn them. It’s emotionally cleansing and healing. Love you, Lois. I value our friendship and I have learned much from you. Your friends, Ed and Marilyn (above) are spot on in their comments. {{{HUGS}}}

    • July 7, 2016 at 11:25 am

      Thank you, Nancy. I know how cathartic letter-writing is, no matter what the situation. It’s like magic, isn’t it? Blessings to you, my friend ♡

  • August 4, 2016 at 1:14 am

    Lois, I am sorry to hear of your mothers passing. I too just lost my 94 y.o. mother 3/31 of this year. I am 62, have taken early retirement and fulfilling a promise I made to mom that I would be long gone out on the open road after she was gone, she knew I only stayed around for her. And so, my journey begins tomorrow…..I will take her along in spirit every mile, every day……perhaps our paths will cross one day, out on the open road…..meanwhile, safe travels to you, and BE WELL.

    • August 4, 2016 at 10:10 am

      I’m sorry to hear of your mom’s passing, John. I know you’ll fulfill your promise to her and your adventures will always have her in them. I look forward to our paths crossing some day and sharing our adventures over a campfire or a cup of coffee. Happy trails to you, too – be well, travel safe, rock on!

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