I killed a seagull.
I didn't do it on purpose but it happened anyway.
I was driving down the highway – a small-ish, two-lane, no shoulder, kind of windy (with a long "i" sound), highway – towing Li'l Homey, and watching the on-coming lane where a large motorhome had broken down and was blocking about half the lane. Trying to keep safe in my lane, I was focused on the traffic coming my way and the traffic following behind me. I could see a large white seagull just mozy-ing around in my lane, across from the broken-down RV, and I thought he'd see me coming and fly away. I mean, most birds do that; they don't just stand in the road waiting for you to run them down. But that's just what this big beautiful bird did.
With a thump of my left front tire and a flurry of flying feathers, I hit the seagull square on. There's no way he could have survived the hit.
I had no place to pull over, so in shock, I continued on. I drove for a couple of miles before I could find a place to get out of traffic and pull over, by which time, I was sobbing like a crazy, deranged person.
I sat and cried for I don't know how long but it seemed like forever. My chest felt heavy. My gut felt like it'd been slugged.
I knew I needed to move on and get back to driving, but I couldn't bring myself to do it yet. I also knew I needed to do something to resolve within me, within my heart, if you will, this bird's untimely death at my hand.
Right then, I received a text from a friend, and since I was already on the side of the road, safely parked, I looked at it and texted back a condensed version of the story I just shared with all of you. After a few texts back and forth, he said to me: Don't cry anymore! Drive safe! Remember you ARE the bird! His spirit is within you. Live her and your life to the fullest!
Okay then. Alrighty then. Maybe I really could embody the spirit of this magnificient bird and bring his or her spirit energy into my being. I decided that I would Google the Native meaning of "Seagull energy" and see if it held any special meaning for this time-period in my life. What I found out kinda shocked and surprised me all over again.
It came down to these three words: Joy, Freedom, Perspective.
Soar in joy. Soar in freedom. Feel your power. You are the seagull!
The seagull knows that freedom is a state of mind and of the heart. She can teach you to let your heart soar on the wings of freedom and joy, no matter where you are and no matter what you are doing. She will help lift you out of the sands of worry and petty concerns and into the soaring heights of being one with all that is: one with the ocean, one with the land, one with the vast and glorious sky.
The seagull will also teach you perspective. Whenever you care to, she will take you for a ride, up into the sky and across the vast ocean, where you will see that your cares are as small as the grains of sand on the beach. She will teach you that your power is limitless and unbounded and that all you need to do is stretch out your wings and let life carry you.
Feel the freedom in your heart. Smell the salt air as you soar across the vast ocean. Feel the wind beneath your wings lifting you higher and higher, endlessly higher. Fill yourself with all of this power, the power to be all that you truly are, fully and freely expressed. For you are the seagull, and freedom is yours!
Taken from this website, these words were so perfect for me! These days as I travel the roads, no place to call home, but home being every place I go, I sometimes feel that the freedom I have to go these places and do these things comes with a feeling of aloneness that occasionally feels lonely. The seagull's perspective as told above is something I could use more of on a regular, daily basis.
To you, Seagull, I give my thanks and my gratitude for your energy. May your joy and freedom be in me and in all I do, and may I keep your perspective on the little things that trip me up and trip me out. Máhsie.