I have a job.
Yup. A J-O-B.
I’m spending as much time working at healing and getting well these days as I would if I had a “regular” job, with overtime, so I might as well call it what it is: I’m working; I have a job.
I’m even using some of the same skills I utilized in my working life:
- scheduling (making appointments with doctors, specialists, therapists and other healers)
- negotiating (discussing with a doctor/therapist/healer what we’re going to do to address an issue)
- report writing (filling out the endless paperwork for doctors and hospitals)
- record-keeping (keeping track of who said what and when; tracking my blood pressure every day, etc.)
- R and D (research and development – researching other therapies and treatments and advocating that research with the doctors, etc.)
- budget analysis (reading EOBs and doctor bills; tracking deductibles, out-of-pockets and payments and how it all fits in with buying groceries this week)
- field work (driving to and from all the appointments; picking up prescriptions)
- equipment maintenance (making sure the heart monitor base station is properly installed; keeping the transportation vehicle operational, etc.)
- QA (quality assurance – making sure I’m getting the best care possible)
- PR (public relations – writing this blog; posting updates on Facebook; lunching with friends; keeping up with all of you, etc.)
- “Other duties as assigned”: doing the physical therapy exercises several times every day; fixing (and eating) food that’s good for me; making and drinking green juice; meditating; giving myself reiki; riding the gym’s recumbent bike at least 4 times a week; taking my vitamins and meds; making a cup of Golden Milk every evening; and other duties as assigned 😀
Sounds like healing and getting well can truly be called a full-time job, doesn’t it? And yet I feel like I’m doing nothing, all day, every day. Like what I’m doing every day is being a slacker. Like taking care of myself is a super low priority and I should be out there working, making money, volunteering at the animal shelter, or some other such thing as a “contribution to society.” Even though I spend a lot of time every day doing this getting-well work, the little guy in my head says I’m really doing nothing. Keeping my head in the “business” of healing has been more work than all the other work of juggling my health issues put together. If I can just get that little guy in my head, the one who thinks I’m doing nothing, to think I’m doing something worthwhile, I think it’ll be much easier to do this job.
So right here, right now, I’m announcing that I have a job, and that job is to get healthy and well, or as healthy and well as my body will allow me to get. It’s a long-term position, one that’s going to take some time, a lot of perseverance, a ton of work, and the dedication to make this a job well done.
Well, that’s it, everybody. I’m working. I have a job. I guess I’m actually self-employed, but it’s still a job.
Most days it’s a good job to have…. and some days, it’s a killer. Just like a real job.
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Thank you all for being here for me. It wouldn’t be possible to do all this on my own, without knowing that you are all out there, rooting for me, sending prayers and healing energy my direction, letting me pet your dogs and cats, allowing me to stay in your spare bedrooms, offering me your friendship, fixing me dinner, giving me a hug. I appreciate each of you, because every time that little guy in my head talks loud enough that I begin to listen to him, I remember that I have you all out there, giving me the thumbs up, telling me to hang in there, and reminding me to not give up! Thank you! You all rock!